Last week I wrote about being a caregiver to my Mom and the previous week I wrote about my Dad having emergency quintuple bypass surgery.

I was in a caregiving role to my parents for twenty years.

A topic I think is often overlooked is the cost of aging.

Another topic that goes hand in hand with the cost is whether we are living longer or dying longer.

Can you or your loved ones afford to be in poor health as you age?

Whether you’re helping older parents or you’re thinking about your own aging process I think it’s a topic worth discussing.

I was having a walk and talk with a friend who is a financial advisor.

She has many baby boomer clients who worked hard and saved money for decades to be able to travel and enjoy their retirement years.

What she noticed is that many of them are in poor health.

They physically aren’t able to travel.

The money they spent years saving is now going towards in home care or assisted living.

After a year and a half of pandemic lockdowns, my 91-year-old Mom developed cognitive decline, and my brother and I felt it wasn’t safe for her to live on her own.

She was living on her own in a retirement community, so we moved her to assisted living.

She lived in a Christian non-profit community.  

There are still a few of these, but they are quickly being bought up and turned into for-profit entities.

Be aware that private equity is buying up retirement communities.  It will bring higher prices and lower quality care.

Assisted living was $4500 a month.

She had long-term care insurance, which kicked in after 90 days.

My parents paid for long-term care insurance via my Dad’s employer for decades.

My understanding is that many of these companies are struggling because people are living longer with chronic diseases.

After her massive stroke and heart attack, she required full-time care.

We had to move her to skilled nursing.

It was $13,500 a month.

That was just her care.  It didn’t cover any other expenses.

Her long-term care insurance covered $4500.

Fortunately, she was able to absorb the rest of the monthly expenses.

My parents were of a generation that received a pension.

My Mom had guaranteed monthly benefits, including supplemental insurance coverage to her Medicare, and she had drug coverage benefits.

This was all provided by my Dad’s employer.

I feel like this era is in the rearview mirror.

I don’t believe anyone in my generation will see these benefits.

My brother and I realized that we were in a far different position than many of our friends who are having to help support their parents in their elder years.

When I looked around skilled nursing, so many of the residents suffered from various forms of cognitive decline, diabetes, and loss of mobility.

It was heartbreaking to walk into the building week after week and see people who didn’t recognize their own children, who were no longer verbal and were unaware of their surroundings.

I hope I never end up in Skilled Nursing.

Seeing once vital, strong people as a shell of themselves was depressing.

 I wonder how families can afford this for years at a time, sometimes for both parents.

This is not sustainable.

Most older people who end up in skilled nursing are suffering from chronic diseases that have their roots in lifestyle choices.  

Things like heart disease, stroke, dementia, diabetes, and general frailty are the result of years of poor diet, poor blood sugar management, chronic stress, and lack of exercise, which creates a lack of strength.

It always leaves me with the question of what I can do today to influence how I age.  

Do you want to live longer or die longer?

When I work with clients, I ask them to walk every day.

It’s one of the simplest things you can do to maintain strength and vitality.

It will pay off when you’re an old lady who can get up off the couch or in and out of the car on your own.

Just as saving money is a deposit in your future self, so are walking and eating well. 

Genes load the gun, but lifestyle pulls the trigger.  

How you eat and exercise, as well as your stress levels, greatly influence how your genes are expressed.

After my Mom passed away, my Aunt was so shocked at the cost of her care.

She’s 90 and in fantastic health.

She asked me to put together a list of questions she should consider and discuss with her kids about aging.

I’m linking them below for you.

Aging and death are not topics that we like to think about or discuss, but they’re inevitable.

I had many conversations with my parents about their end of life wishes.

It’s essential to start thinking about what you will do for yourself or a loved one who needs additional help and care as they age.

In the meantime, what daily health deposits will you make in future you?

You can access the questions here.